“People show you who they are, but we pay no attention because we want them to be who we want them to be.”

A piece of paper from the State of Nevada shows we were married on March 10, 2015. Lovely photographs were taken at the ceremony. One of my favorites sits on my nightstand. There is a gold wedding band on my finger. It’s simple, but I admire it every day. It reminds me of my commitment to my handsome groom, who lays next to me every night. At our wedding, I wore soft white, and he wore dark gray with a lavender tie to match my bouquet.

For our wedding night, I didn’t bother to pack lingerie. When my groom emerged from the bathroom, he was dressed in a white lace teddy, matching fishnet stockings, and spiked heels. He promenaded across the room, begging to be admired. I felt a pang of disappointment and somehow felt cheated from a tradition typically reserved for the bride. I silenced the voice inside my head that was screaming to be heard.

This is a scene that many in my situation find to be common when you marry a crossdresser. It’s a sense that something is missing or not quite right – a feeling of emptiness and a loss of your own feminine identity. But you go along with it anyway.

Long before I stood at the altar at the Chapelle du Jardin in the Paris Hotel on that bright spring day, I knew Bill was fascinated with wearing feminine lingerie, stockings, high-heeled shoes, and feminine jewelry. He revealed this and other sexual passions in the early days of our relationship.

Not every wife or life partner knows the man in her life is a crossdresser or transgender, much less accepts and participates in the pastime. Bill’s revelation and my awareness put me in the minority of women who willingly marry or are involved with a crossdresser. There are vastly diverse degrees in which men engage in the pursuit, which may influence whether a wife is willing to approve of it or how much they are willing to accept.  Some women shamelessly go out in public with their feminine partner, who is all dressed up and ready to face the double-takes, snickers, and whispering.  Other women head for an attorney prepared for battle at the first discovery of hidden lace panties.  Many of us land somewhere in the middle.

The wives who do not find out they are living with a crossdresser or transgender until long after the vows have been exchanged, they have settled down with kids, bought a home, co-mingled bank accounts, and have fallen into the mundane routine of married life are often traumatized at the discovery. Sometimes these women never find out or deliberately turn a blind eye to suspicions. Yes, I had the knowledge and I accepted and even participated in Bill’s eccentric sexual desires. I had the knowledge, but knowledge is not the same thing as understanding.

LGBTQ and particularly transgender issues are on the rise.  Every day there are headlines about discriminatory legislation, hostile work environments, and even violence against this growing global population. A staggering number of men are coming forward with their desire to transition to become a woman; many are married and have families.  We hear about drag shows daily; however, there is one side to this exploding controversy that we don’t hear about, and that is from the point of view of being married to a crossdresser or transgender – until now.

My experience being married to a crossdresser is documented in the following chapters where I share an intimate and personal account of the deep sense of betrayal and shock I faced as I uncovered my husband’s secret life and the dangerous addictions that went along with his pursuits.  One visitor commented, “Wow!  What a read!”

Mylifewithacrossdresser.com is an intimate account of what life is like on the other side of the provocative transgender issue.  Like a book, the story makes more sense if you read the chapters in sequential order.

If you are a crossdresser, transvestite, or transgender and have stumbled across this site, I hope you will take the time to read through the chapters. While my experiences living with a crossdresser may not at all be what your personal situation presents, I hope you find the story interesting and informative from a different perspective.

A few disclaimers about this site:

• The language used in this blog is sometimes crude and unpleasant, but then so is life. Some people may find the sexually graphic content offensive or distasteful. I offer no apologies. It is what it is. If you don’t like what you read here, simply close the browser.

• The views expressed here are based on my personal experience and the events that helped form these opinions. Your experience and views may be different, and that is okay. It is to be expected that not all crossdressers are the same, and our relationships with them will not be similar.  Either way, we belong to a rare community.

• All names and other identifying information have been changed to protect the innocent – and the guilty. Everything else is based on true events.

• If you visit this site or post a comment, rest assured your information is not being tracked, collected, monitored, or shared with anyone. 

Let my experience of being married to a crossdresser, and the sexually addictive and compulsive secrets he tried to hide help you navigate this unusual world that sometimes goes beyond the act of donning feminine clothing. I recognize not all crossdressers engage in this kind of activity as my husband and I do not intend to characterize the entire community in the same negative vein as I describe my experience.  However, some do…..

Check out my story in the chapter pages. Like a book, the story makes more sense if you read the chapters in sequential order.  Go directly to the next chapter by following the link below.

Follow me as I continue to add new chapters. I would also love to hear from you, so please leave a comment.